#and ugh the big ass millennium falcon

[spicypoop]

my life has improved drastically since i started building legos and put glow in the dark stars on my ceiling

just goes to show how much getting the things you wanted as a child can bring you joy as an adult

[blindrapture]

FRIDAY JULY 29TH, 2011 (Crotch Museum)

12:00 AM Goddammit, we have hostiles! Jellybean on starboard, Hot Tamales on port! WE ARE UNDER FIRE, SPRINKLES ARE BOMBARDING THE MUFFIN SHIP! "I'm doing my best to evade! Use some.. muffin rockets or something!" What does this look like, the Maltesers Falcon? This is a ferry vessel! We don't have rockets! "What the fuck does a detective movie have to do with our situation!" What? I meant, like, the Millennium Falcon! That Star Wars ship with the guns! "But you said Maltes"I WAS MAKING A CANDY PUN JUST DRIVE, WOMAN

12:02 AM she's swerving us. can't dodge all the gumdrop bullets, but with some fancy footwork we can.. do 9/11 on those wafer buiLDINGS WATCH OUT

12:05 AM "I don't think the candypiece fighters survived that" no donnie, I am sorry for asking you to fly this thing "yes, I will never fly again after this" good job on weaving between those buildings, but we need to.. touch down... we need somewhere safe "let me find that big strawberry citadel, there was a hangar high up on it"

12:09 AM okay jesus, that was.. that was a tragedy. "they'll really hate us now." god I hope no one was working there at the time. but. thank you, donnie. thank you for landing us. ..she's got a hand on the wall, leaning over, calming down. okay.

12:10 AM We're in a big hangar in the side of the strawberry tower, tallest structure by a margin. We're not far from the top, we are very high up. The walls and floor and everything are made of red with little white polka-dots, and it extends far enough downward that the cloud cover blocks my sight of the bottom. There's no obvious doors to leave the hangar, but there's a little open vent shaft. Which probably is the door, for the little gingerbread people.

12:11 AM We have to squeeze ourselves in here tight and sidle our way through a winding narrow corridor that slopes down regularly.

12:14 AM ugh man my knees are killing me. I'm not made to scoot this low for so long. "at least it smells nice in here." how does this thing not rot?

12:17 AM "you just had to jinx us, didn't you." oh my god that smell is awful. we're approaching a section that is.. definitely darker than before and we have to move so damn slowly through all this because we're too tall

12:20 AM OH FUCK FLOOR, PLEASE BE MARSHMALLOW ow Okay, the good news is, it was. The bad news is, since Donnie was so close to me when the rotten strawberry gave way, she landed square on top of me. o.e Normally, I wouldn’t complain about having her on top. But it was at least a ten-foot drop. ..that rhymed.

12:21 AM "jesus, my fucking ass…" it's a great ass, what's the problem "listen, cutie, that doesn't absolve you of making me fly that damn muffin" I'm sorry "so I'm just not gonna get up right now." oh no!!!!! :) "you can still use your hands. write in your little journal. write some descriptions or something." yes, ma'am! So we were walking through the strawberry citadel, minding our own, just focusing on getting through the little section of rot,when the rotten floor gave way and I fell down, Donnie close behind. We seem to have landed (with a thud!) in a little warehouse of sorts, with walls that clearly stretch further than the citadel looked outside. Whether this was another Door or not, I can’t tell. The marshmallow floor leads me to believe it wasn’t. Above our heads are the narrow strawberry shafts, looking like vent ducts from down here. I hear the vague hum of machinery within the fortress’ walls, and that’s all.

12:22 AM can. um. "yes?" can I get up and have a look around? "you want me to get off of you?" ...give it another few minutes, please. .w.

12:28 AM "so. we're on another rabbit hole adventure." yeah... :) "do we actually, like, know how to find anything here? like the cipher. if we have to find the cipher, do we know how?" well. the last few times, we've kinda just been going with the flow? it might have something to do with staying in Xanadu. if we have the chance to return to Earth, instead stay. "that's your best guess?" yeah. we didn't really think about it the other times? but we always hit the cipher after being in here for like a whole day. "that's true."

12:38 AM Alright, we're up. We're up and about. There are lots of tall metal shelves around, not even organized in any set orders. Some of them are really tall, others are just the right size, some of them are filled with cheese, others with ham, and even some with milk floating in invisible glasses. Nothing is spoiled here, it looks picturesque, looks ideal.

12:42 AM There’s some sort of gigantic strawberry structure up ahead.

12:43 AM The vents above our heads hit this wall and then sprawl down. It looks like a vertical maze, with an entrance being in front of us. There’s a licorice ladder in this vent. I guess that explains how the vertical aspect of the maze is possible. Unless you wanna meander along more marshmallow warehouse, I say we climb up.

12:47 AM I found a little airborne alcove. Taking the time to write, as I can’t really write much on the ladder.

12:57 AM gravity shifted more than a few times. We’d be climbing up, and suddenly, we’d fall. ..up. The strawberry would change colors a lot, too. We’re currently resting in an indigo alcove. I’m not sure how much longer we have to go, but I’m fairly certain we’re close to where the ceiling was.

1:04 AM OH GOD NO NO NO I GOT YOU C’MON OH GOD PULL PULL PULL

1:05 AM Donnie found the exit to the shafts and a big bear was ready to grab her. Fucking Eldritch Bear! What's this asshole even doing here? I got her, though. We're hiding back in the shafts as it roars.

1:06 AM We found a different exit. …it saw us. Hiding

1:08 AM Okay, I have an idea. If you go up that end, and I go up this end, we can gang up on him and frying pan-slash-guitar controller him to death! "I miss my rifle..." Ready? Break!

1:09 AM GO GO GO GO HEY wdfinsreijfd WHOA don’t hesitate WHACK WHACK WHACK KARRACK

1:11 AM The bear sprouted wings of fire and flew away. So the strawberry climbing-wall put us out in a damp damp cave, with sticky spiderwebs coating the walls. Bundles of creatures wriggle in the web. There's someone else in the room with us. It's the creepy man with the red jacket. I've seen him before. I saw him the last time I encountered the Eldritch Bear. o_o

1:12 AM Who are you? "We have all been digested here." ..what He’s gone. He just disappeared. We were looking right at him; he disappeared! Fuck it. We’re not sticking around to figure out what he was referring to.

1:14 AM "Oh! I have this!" what BAM bright light in my face thank you for remembering your helmet! "There's so many little things crawling on the walls." They have too many legs. o_e "But they're scared of light!" Yeah, and I'm scared of them. "Stick behind me, then."

1:17 AM no path splits. just one long walk. it's not too narrow, but I'm not going near those walls.

1:20 AM THERE! A LIGHT! A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE CAVE THAT'S FIRE but there's no warmth coming from it. Donnie, walk through it! "What, why me?" You're wearing armor and shit!!! "..the fire's not real. It's just a light source. Feels like wind." Huh! "Making me test it out for you is going on the List, you know. The List of things I'm gonna punish you for later." Whatever! We both know that I love that! "We do. Did the fire lead us to a different world?"

1:21 AM A museum on fake fire. Devoid of visitors, besides us. ..the objects on display are all genitalia.

1:23 AM Every room presents meat and two veg, or lady particles. Well, I mean, only a few of them are human. Most of them are other creatures’. They look much less familiar. Some of them look like mouths with teeth. Or a tongue extending from between legs. "That one looks like a corkscrew! That one's got barbs on it!" Donnie’s finding it fascinating. I find it… weird, but interesting, sure. So. Xanadu has a crotch museum. ..sure?

1:38 AM Wait, we hit a new wing of the museum. ..this is all arms. Of all sorts.

1:50 AM ..torsos.

2:03 AM This wing’s all heads. o_e

2:05 AM creepycreepycreepycreepycreepy

2:14 AM HOW LONG DID A DAMN MUSEUM WING NEED TO BE "WHY DO SOME OF THE EYES FOLLOW US" I DON'T WANT TO KNOW "IS IT JUST A FUN LITTLE TRICK" I DON'T WANT TO KNOW

2:39 AM creepycreepyEXITENTERhallway of doors oh the doors lead to classrooms, of course they do, THIS DAMN PLACE AGAIN the PA speakers are playing soft new-wave grooves

2:42 AM We're walking down the long hallway, looking in every room we pass. Every classroom is completely empty. No desks, no chairs, just big empty spaces stared down by black chalkboard.

2:43 AM The music is on a loop. I mean, probably. There's no vocals, just a moody instrumental. It adds to the vibes and is the only good thing I'm feeling.

2:47 AM The classrooms down here are starting to change. These ones all have exactly one desk in them, in the center of each room. The room numbers are in the 100 range.

2:50 AM The echo of our footsteps grows louder and more delayed.

2:54 AM Rooms with two desks, starting from room 200.

3:02 AM Three deskfour that one had four. The numbers jumped from 302 to 403. And the echoing has grown so loud and delayed that it actually sounds like people walking all around us.

3:05 AM Five desks.

3:14 AM ..still five. 599 went to 5001. Donnie keeps turning around to look at something. There’s nothing there.

3:20 AM A thousand five-desk rooms. So many doors. The footstep echoes are converging into one single echo, one single pair of footsteps. It's focusing behind us.

3:23 AM The hallway ends on a single door on the far wall. It's made of cold steel. Goodbye, rooms of five. It's time to enter the fifth level.

555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 Factory (1) The walls are cast in a shadow so thick we can touch it. Donnie's headtorch doesn't even penetrate it. The floor is metal, coated in a layer of rust. The sound of heavy machinery is grinding from the next room. We’re back in the factory.

Factory (2) "Wait." ? "Don't you get that feeling? Holding back your bones. Constricting your chest. That feeling like we don't actually want to dwell here." I do. "But do you feel the other feeling too?" I do. The rumbling I feel in my feet, of something growling many miles below us. Something that's trapped here, something that resents every day it spends in Xanadu's bowels. Biding its time. Plotting its wrath. "Something we might actually want to find." It's not as strong as the trepidation, but I feel it all the same. "Okay. Just making sure we're on the same page." I think we are. "We can continue now. Into the mouth of madness."

Factory (3) We step into the large empty chamber. Among the shadows that are the walls slide shadows formerly known as men. The Victims kneel, their faces to the ground, both cowering and praying. The moment my rumbling foot stepped through the door, I could clearly hear a voice speaking. "Sixty-nine days. Sixty-nine days. Sixty-nine days. Keep time. Keep time. Keep time. Hold my insides in place. Hold my insides in place. Hold my insides in place. You will not break me. You will not break me. You will not break me. I will break you.” I can remember it in any voice I like, but I cannot explicitly remember what the original voice was that said it. All I really know is that the voice was.. foreboding. No distinct pitch or accent. Sounded like a tree, actually. If a tree had a voice. I look around and see a man in the room with us, transparent, his outline bleeding into the shadows. He looks like me. There is no one else in this room. There is another doorway.

Factory (4) This is a steel platform suspended above a void, a railing between us and the drop. We overlook trains speeding off into the distance, tall and featureless razors. They ride into electricity, setting fire to their trailing cars and spaghettifying into the horizon. Suddenly, neon shoots back to us from that gold distance. Donnie gasps. This neon is harmless, but the factory brings pain. The pain surges through our heads and the factory laughs at our stable forms. There’s no comfort in the eldritch. there’s no comfort like the eldritch.

Factory (5) The railing shakes as something steps out of the shadows towards us. It's the man in the theatrical sadface mask. His outline, too, bleeds out whisps of color that feed the walls. He makes staggered steps. "I know what you are doing." Uh. Hey! Omega's your name, right? "I know that someone else is heading for the seventh Cipher, and you are heading there to stop them." They're on the way, then. They found a rabbit hole. "I know how you fight. I know that you are not ready." For the bikers? "For what's to come." Here comes Omega, wielding a sword of fire and a smashed bottle of whiskey. Donnie's relying on her frying pan. I've got my Tiger Stripes. There's not much room to maneuver here. We've got to just.. try.

Factory (6) HE'S GRABBED TIGER STRIPES OUT OF MY HANDS "This? This is your weapon? It has a soul in it. I can feel it wanting to give you enough adrenaline to bash my skull in. Not bad." CRACK he snapped it in half and threw the pieces into the void below "Not good enough." YOU SON OF A BITCH

Factory (7) He’s chasing us down upside-down chambers with sawblades breaking bone noise in rhythms playing from factory speakers there are no legsteps when there is no chance

Factory (8) He has me cornered. Donnie slipped away, and he came after me. "You fight like all you know is self-defense and adrenaline. You have no skill. You have gotten this far because the situation has not called for more. But the gods have long been talking about you, and I don't just mean the Fears." step. step. step. "If I kill you now, it just might free the Beast inside. That's a risk I need to take." raising his swords. BONK "FUCK" SLAM! "I'M SORRY" SLAM! WHACK! "I'M S" WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Donnie stands over his dead body, skull a mangle. "You already freed the beast inside, bitch." Her frying pan is bent, dripping with blood and grey matter. "You gave me a reason." >__< "C'mon, Jordan. You heard him; the bikers are on the way to the Cipher. We've got work to do."

4:23 PM The factory sent us through a corridor of fast-spinning clocks before we reached a glowing white doorway. …WAIT OH GOD OH MY GOD OH GOD cxjgsdffjdc THIS IS NOT FAIR NOT RIGHT AFTER LOSING TIGER STRIPES WE’RE IN FUCKING DOGSCAPE

4:44 PM I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

4:50 PM FUCKING DOG EVERYWHERE I HATE THAT TAIL OVER THERE I HATE THAT MOUTH IN THE GROUND I HATE THAT FLEA THERE THAT MOUNTAIN OF BUTTS REALLY SUCKS ASS

5:01 PM WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND A DOOR HERE

5:19 PM IT’S A GODDAMN FRIDAY NIGHT I’M SIXTEEN AND CUTE; I SHOULD BE SPENDING THIS NIGHT AT SOME MOVIE THEATER “WATCHING” A HORROR FILM WITH, LIKE, MY GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING THAT'D BE DONNIE. DONNIE, YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND IN THIS SCENARIO. OKAY? WE’RE BOTH ATTRACTIVE AND DASHING TEENAGERS, AND IT’S A FRIDAY NIGHT. WE SHOULD BE SPENDING IT “WATCHING” A HORROR FILM. AND BY “WATCHING,” OF COURSE I MEAN IGNORING IT AND MAKING OUT. LIKE THEY DO IN THOSE OLD FILMS. BACK WHEN LIFE WAS BALLS. AT FIRST I WOULD BE THE DUDE WHO’D ACTUALLY GO TO A HORROR MOVIE TO WATCH IT, AND DONNIE WOULD BE THE SWEET LITTLE MARY JANE WHO’D COME TO ASK ME OUT BUT SHE’D SEE ME THERE WITH SALMACIS, OUR SCIENCE TEACHER, AND IT’D BE AWKWARD. THEN AT THE CLIMAX OF OUR TEENAGE LIVES, DONNIE WOULD WORK UP THE COURAGE AND ASK ME TO THE, LIKE… ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE SEA DANCE SOCIAL. AND I’D AGREE TO IT. AND DONNIE AND I WOULD GO TO THE ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE SEA DANCE SOCIAL THING, AND MARTY MCFLY WOULD SHOW UP AND PLAY “JOHNNY B. GOODE” AND THEN THE MOVIE WOULD END. AND ALL THE 1950S PEOPLE IN THE CROWD WITH THEIR 1950S HAIRCUTS AND 1950S DIALOGUES LIKE “KEEN” AND “SWELL” AND “THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED” WOULD LOVE THE MOVIE AND TALK ABOUT IT TO THEIR CARS OR WHATEVER. what the fuck am I even talking about anymore Oh hey a Door.

5:24 PM We’re oh fuck it’s dark stumbling light switch oh hey light switch

5:25 PM We’re in a forest. …with a random light switch on a tree that actually works. It turned the sun on. o_o That’s kinda funny. Light switch on a tree that turns the sun on. Kinda surreal.

5:28 PM Still following a path, always following a path. Whose path are we even following? The bikers will have been on, like. Bikes. And we'd have seen them. Whatever. It beats hiking through the undergrowth.

5:33 PM ..can't believe he broke tiger stripes. I also can't believe tiger stripes lasted so long, but I took that as a sign, y'know? It was a gift from God or whatever! "Come, my child, and raise this holy piece of plastic high, and thy will shred thine fingers to holy Bulls on Parade in my name! And when thy get to mine Heaven in the afterlife, all mine angels and cherubs and seraphim will chant, as one: YOU ROCK! FULL COMBO!" it's fucking bullshit.

5:40 PM The lights are flickering. Well, the sun. The sun is flickering. Shit, I hope the lights don’t go out before we find our way out.

5:42 PM LIGHT SWITCH HITTING …I JUST TURNED THE SUN OFF. Sorry, gamer’s instinct. See the lights fading, hit the nearest light source, maybe the lights will go back to normal. There’s a Door there anyway. What was even the point of this place? To make me look like an idiot?

5:45 PM This is a shed with walls made of lamps. "Is your. Is your heart just not in the descriptions now?" Well, what would you call it? "The walls are! Made of! ........lampshades. It's the material that, y'know, lampshades are made of." There's a wooden door. Not a Door door, but a shed door. What's outside?

5:46 PM ..oh my god hello beautiful highway. "Well, this actually looks more like a motorway. English. There’s a difference." What? How can you tell? "The road sign says Eastbourne. Hey, there are bikes on the side of the road!" What! There's two. These look like the same sort that the bikers had. "Is anyone around? Are they having a piss or something? ..the bikes are soaked in blood." Who cares! Let's take them!

8:25 PM Okay. So. We rode for a little bit before we caught up with two bikers. It was the leader, and the big muscle-y one. They had parked in the middle of the motorway to see who was coming up. They were surprised to see it was us, and we stopped to talk to them! They had been in the rabbit holes all day, in different worlds than we had, and along the way they'd lost their other two friends, they were still touchy about that. We did apologize for using their friends' bikes, but the leader said it was alright as long as we were here to help with the Cipher. I looked at Donnie, she looked at me, and we... said yeah. Yeah, we're here to help. So we all rode, down the magical motorway, for 200 miles. It was pretty gorgeous. Trees on either side of us gave way to reveal rolling hills with multi-sun sunsets, distant streams, farms of insect animals, giant ducks flying overhead, big mounds, cobblestone walls and little padlock gates... it was nice, it was nice. Then we approached a giant Door, gaping wide over the motorway, and barreled right into thick snow, stopping our bikes and sending all of us flying off. The sky in this world is white, with a black grid like on a map. Snow doesn't fall, it just already coats the ground. And even the bikers didn't want to try to get their bikes across this, so they just took to walking it. Donnie and I huddled together behind them. At first we weren't sure about where we were, it could have just been another regular rabbit hole world, but then we noticed the giant spidercloud in the distance, and sporadic flashes of lightning around us. We were in the Cipher Realm. And it was during a burger meal that we were all ambushed by warriors in thick bundles of clothes (all I could make out for their physical description is their beanies had holes for two horns on their heads). They pointed flaming sticks at us and demanded to know what we were here for. And the bikers were blunt: "We are here to kill the Cipher." So we were all restrained, zipties around our arms, and led some distance to a cold stone structure. Now we are in prison cells, each our own. There’s a giant blob monster keeping watch over us. And we were each given a piece of.. parchment, with the same message on it: "Good cavaliers, Your metal horses have been captured for the use of the imperial army. You have no hope of returning home, and we will put you to death for your trespass, so you truly only have one option: You must accomplish what you came here to do. Kill me, or die trying. The truth is, I have been waiting here for challengers such as yourselves who know their role in this war. I have known my role for all of my long life. This barren No Man's Land has been maintained for this role, and my platoons have been trained for my defense with proper knowledge of this battle's greater context. They are cultured, cultivated, and noble. Can you say the same? In the name of good sport, I have provided each of you with accommodations for the night, as your arrival here cannot have been comfortable. I want your battle with me to involve you giving your all, not opponents plagued with fatigue. You are thereby encouraged to sleep for the night, as you have much to do on the morrow. In my Realm, I have stationed eight challenges and five preparatory battles. You are to perform the challenges to gather the keys that unlock my throne room. The preparatory battles are for good show. As no doubt mighty warriors yourselves, you must understand.At 8 AM, your cells will unlock. Rest well, good cavaliers. I expect a worthy final fight." This is, obviously, a lot more involved than the others had been. I fear we might actually be locked into this one. Maybe we can do the challenges and get into the throne room before the bikers do? Talk to the Cipher. It sounds like he's perfectly capable of dialogue. Explain our situation. He'll understand. Right?

(Attached: "The trials of the Hords Creek Lake Bikers on their quest into the Xanadian Heartlands involved several worlds that were traversed by road, offering them little resistance, and then one hideous world that they had assumed was a long dark tunnel to drive through. Halfway through the tunnel, a liquid wall of blood clots and viscera rushed in behind them at a faster speed than their bikes could go, and it dawned on them that this was the inside of a giant body. Knowing they would not make it to the other side of the tunnel in time, the two less able-bodied bikers were asked to give themselves that it may stay the flood. And, likewise, knowing the importance of their group's goal, this was agreed to. It was swiftly regretted once the two sacrifices were inside the blood, being eaten alive by white blood cells like hungry piranhas, but this did in fact keep those cells busy while the other two rode their way out, steel-faced to the muffled sound of screaming. As the bikes were inorganic material, they were rejected and pushed out the Door with them. I.. felt it necessary to memorialize those two.")

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[norcumii]

yet another sequels rewrite

UGH. I have absolutely no stamina anymore. Ok, so this might be an unholy mess especially with as little sleep I’ve managed lately, nevermind the headcold, but here we go. I want it out of my system, dangit.

Under a cut because long thing is long, and MANY MANY SPOILERS FOR THE SEQUEL TRILOGY, UP TO AND INCLUDING RISE OF SKYWALKER.

Also, apologies, you can see where I got caught up in the banter and a character hogs the screen when they’re meant to be more on the sidekick level of prominence. I should fix it, but I enjoy razzing the character too much, so. Er. Sorry?

(and then you can see about halfway through my energy levels just died and the rest is handwaving. THAT one I’m sorry for.)

Episode 7: The Legacy of Skywalker

This begins much like canon, with Poe and BB-8 getting vital intel from random old guy in the desert – it’s not about Luke Skywalker, it’s about what the First Order plans. Finn doesn’t shoot, and no Dark Side figure romping around – though Phasma IS there, and she kicks serious ass and is generally terrifying. Poe is captured, Phasma questions him, sends him off to an actual interrogation cell.

We cut to a small smuggler vessel, sleek but not top of the line, has seen some wear and tear. Inside, Kylo Ren is having just another day as a smuggler kvetching with his crew – none of them want to deliver goods to Jakku, but damn the pay is decent (and stars know business has been thin lately – something’s been riling up the smuggling underground, though no one can point to what exactly). Kylo is tall, favors dark clothes, maybe has a helmet for when going into battle but not around the ship (very similar to that of the bounty hunter Boushh). His crew are Rose and Paige Tico, mechanic and gunner respectively. The sisters aren’t happy he wants to make the delivery on his own, but he’s determined – he needs them to come to the rescue if things do go badly. Someone has a bad feeling about this, but fine, whatever. Kylo ends with a cocky grin and a swagger as he pulls on the helmet and straps on probably more guns than are necessary (attentive audience members will note there is nothing REMOTELY like a lightsaber to his gear).

Meanwhile, Finn and Poe – tortured by a familiar style of interrogation bot – escape, and crash, and Finn presumes Poe is dead. He ends up meeting up with Rey, desert scavenger, and her new friend BB-8 who recognizes his jacket. In the background, we can see Kylo delivering a pallet of goods, bargaining with the locals, etc. Then the First Order swoops in, blowing shit up. The crowd scatters, Finn and Rey hauling each other to the parked ships. They run towards the closest – only to have it blow up before they get there.

The audience sees Kylo shrieking “My ship!” and gawping at the explosion, and about to be shot down (he was doing a damn good job fighting his way to the escape vehicles before then). Rey and Finn grab this idiot and drag him towards the nearest ship, aka a battered old Millennium Falcon. He shuts down a little as they sprint aboard, Finn dives towards the gunner turret while Rey works to get them the hell out of there. Things happen much like canon, though things break down in the fight. Kylo finally shakes off the shock of losing his ship and almost dying, and sprints towards maintenance to Deal With Things (by now the audience STILL doesn’t know who he is, but there should be the suspicion that he’s tied into this – he’s too familiar with things). The Falcon escapes into hyper, and Kylo is very angry about having to leave his crew behind, as is Rey about leaving in the first place.

We swap back to Kylo’s crew, waiting for word from him. As they’re scanning frequencies, they pick up a Resistance SOS. The sisters are exchanging looks, clearly not happy about this. “Aw man. Kylo won’t like this.” “I don’t like it, nevermind Kylo. Wait, play that on repeat, was that – Paige. Paige, that’s Poe Dameron’s ID squawk.” They share agonized looks, then Paige quietly says, “You know the Generals wouldn’t send him out if it wasn’t important.” “...shit. Kylo is gonna be so pissed.”

They rescue Poe, only to reveal the ladies are undercover Resistance agents, don’t tell Kylo, he cannot know. Meanwhile, they’ve gotten a space!E-mail/text from Kylo, he’s off planet and trying to get back they should get safe then contact him. So they’re off to take Poe to the Resistance.

Back on the Falcon, things break down again, dumping them back into normal space. A very crankry Kylo starts repairs, he and Rey get a bit snippy about how one does this, he’s being territorial until pushed then he’s all “you know what? Fine! You do it your way, see if I care!” Finn just wants to deliver BB-8 to the Resistance, guys, please stop this. Kylo is very against going to the Resistance for any damn reason at all. He just wants to get back to his ship, and off this stinking bucket of bolts! Rey...is speculating about Han Solo, and other legends (all of which make Kylo hunch his shoulders and be all disdainful). She wants to help Finn and BB-8, but she HAS to get back to Jakku.

They get tractored by a Resistance corvette, then boarded by Chewbacca and General Han Organa, who wants to know WTF is going on here, he hasn’t seen the Falcon in forever, not since Lando disappeared with it. And – wait. WAIT. WHO IS THE TALL SKINNY SMUGGLER IN BACK, SLINKING AROUND TRYING NOT TO BE NOTICED? WTF BEN?

(Rey and Finn: Who’s Ben? “That – that would be me, guys.” “I thought you were Kylo Ren!” Han rolls his eyes, looking embarrassed. “You’re really calling yourself that? Still? You came up with that when you were five.” Kylo gets a stubborn look and glares right back. “Hey, you know what, maybe I could’ve just named myself after the family cat, would that’ve made you happier?” Han has an agonized look. “Your mother named it after a land walker!” “And you’re complaining about Kylo Ren?? It’s not like anyone else in the family is any better! That was AT-AT the third, she has burdened at least two other animals with that ridiculous–” Finn: “Excuse me, but could we possibly save this argument for later?”)

Saved from more embarrassing family moments by the First Order attacking (unrelated to the Jakku mess, should emphasize how the First Order is getting up to more and more shit in the galay), Vice Admiral Holdo aboard the ship tells them to go, she’s got this. Off the Falcon goes to Maz Kanata’s. 

We finally see the leadership of the First Order - a cloaked figure at the head of the table (maybe a holopresence?); Hux; Phasma; another cloaked figure, slouching and apparently uninterested in what’s going on. Something something ominous plans, the Resistance is the last bastion against us, the Republic is corrupt and just as bad as its predecessors, burn away the past and let new life grow forth as we dictate it, to create something new and glorious (and altogether creepy as fuck). 

Back on the Falcon, Han and Kylo are Not Speaking To Each Other, but Han is answering basic questions about how the First Order’s been up to shenanigans, clearly someone’s paying off politicians and/or controlling them, they tried working within the system but that finally became a clear dead end so here they are. Grumbling about Luke being off on a mission and Lando’s been missing for awhile, it’s been rough. *MEANINGFUL NOT-QUITE-A-GLARE AT KYLO, who is still totally ignoring this* They’re headed to Takodana, which should be a solid neutral location - they can contact the Resistance there, then send everyone on their way. (He’s totally keeping the Falcon, though. It was his first!)

Things on Takodana go very similar to canon. The group splinters some, Rey finds the lightsaber, visions of vague betrayal, glimpses of Order 66, hints of the Big Four meeting. The First Order attacks (again) much to everyone’s shock because this is Neutral, how dare. Han and Chewie get captured instead of Rey. Leia shows up, invites them back to Resistance HQ, Kylo is...torn. He goes along with. 

Reuniting with Poe, Kylo sees the Tico sisters being far chummier with the locals than they should be, realizes his mother had spies watching him, HOW DARE, he is an ADULT why are they LIKE THIS--

“You can yell at me all you want later, but right now we have data to decrypt and a rescue to plan, especially if you want to yell at your father in person too. It was his idea.” (It was, but Leia is THE head honcho, and she was the one who had to approve it.)

Data is from a spy, most of it has insane good encryption, but what they can make out is a HQ and something about Lando (??!?). They have coordinates, Finn has intel, so off they go for a rescue.

Since travel time is a thing, we need to see actual interaction with the new heroes. The new trio sparring, talking, hanging out playing space chess. Kylo is the awkward older brother figure who totally does not know how to fit in but somehow does a little anyways (note: these moments should be in the minority. He’s a side character, not a main). Getting to know and hang out with Rose, Paige, and Connix. Leia holds regular lightsaber classes for all interested (Finn’s a natural, Rey’s interested but prefers her staff, and Poe’s been doing this for years (Kylo is almost aggressively absent)). Folks keep stumbling over Rey in the hydroponics (look, there’s an AMAZING montage here, ok?). 

The focus should be on Rey, Finn, and Poe: Poe digs these two; Finn’s reactions to going back; Rey grappling with how she left but at the same time she’s got people around and she likes them, wants more of this.

At some point, Rey - who’s been trying to get ANY and all intel on her parents or family who might just not know where she is, corners Kylo with Finn, Poe, and BB-8’s help. It’s honestly distressing to her that he has all these things and he just...left. He left family. Just...how could he?

He doesn’t blow them off, instead sits down and is visibly pushing himself to speak. “My family...is a lot. My uncle’s a galaxy renowned Jedi, the Jedi, the man who killed the Emperor and reforged a millennia old Order. Mom’s been an outstanding politician since she was a teenager, the Rebel leader, last Princess of Alderaan, the woman who built up the new Republic and kept it together though sheer willpower. Oh yeah, AND a Jedi, too. Dad’s a war hero, and while the criminal underworld sometimes says different, he’s got the rep of some amazing criminal mastermind with a heart of gold. My grandfather was Anakin Skywalker, one of the last great Jedi, General, hero of the Clone Wars - and Darth Vader, everyone’s worst nightmare.” He looks at Rey and Finn. “You two are at the opposite end of things. You’re figuring yourselves out from the ground up. Nobody’s shoulders to stand on, and hell, that’s hard. I get it.

“But for me…. My family – the names, the history – it all has such weight to it. All this legacy. I’m not anything like any of them, and I’ll never have the skills or power that any one of them do. Hell, what’s even left for me to be good at?” Poe opens his mouth, it’s possibly an old debate between them. Kylo waves it off. “I know, I know. ‘Find something. Make something.’” He makes a face at Poe, who makes one back. He turns back to Rey and Finn. “You’ve never had anyone’s shoulders to stand on. I’ve never been Ben Organa and not in several very large shadows. I didn’t know how else to find myself, and no, I still don’t know who that is, sorry.”

Finn makes a face. “So, what, we all ought to just give up because someone’s already been the best at things?”

“Hell no. That’s my problem, not yours. Besides, you’re not in those shadows. If you want to pick up that legacy, if you’re willing and able to shoulder that burden, more power to you. It’s not for me, though. Be Jedi, be smugglers, be heroes.” Grins at Poe. “Be the best damn pilots in the galaxy. Whatever.” He pauses and smirks. “Probably not the villains, though. Galaxy’s got enough of those.” 

Leia leads the rescue team, there needs to be serious callbacks to RotJ and her saving Han then. The First Order is surprised at being attacked directly, but rallies, lots of fighting, Resistance doing well. 

Phasma leads a mixed group of “specialty troopers” which encounters Finn, Rey, Kylo, and...danggit, probably not Poe. I want to include Poe, but he’s probably air support. During the flight, when the Resistance is getting the clear upper hand, Phasma motions to the specialists, who all pull lightsabers. It’s not a total flip to the Order’s advantage, but they’re using the Force and suddenly Finn and Rey are having to tap into powers they’ve only experimented with, and meanwhile everyone’s playing keepaway. Finn probably has Luke’s old lightsaber, Rey is ALWAYS dangerous. Eventually Phasma pulls out a lightsaber and does one of those scary Force throws so it’s spinny glowy blade of DOOM heading right towards the center of the normal Resistance troops, away from a very busy Rey and Finn who don’t even see it - 

And Kylo reaches out and Force pulls it to himself, swings it around, and makes a face. “I hate these things.” (It shows. He’s adequate with it, but Phasma has another lightsaber and is kicking his ass. This should also be the first time he EVER shows any hint of being Force sensitive, and that includes he should never be pulling some Han Solo bullseye shots without looking shenanigans.)

Han and Chewie’s rescue party is fighting their way out, and then things cut to an officer running into central HQ, telling the two cloaked figures that no really, they need to evacuate, NOW, there’s too great a likelihood that the whole place is going to come down. 

Head-Honcho-Cloaked-Figure [who I now desperately want to call Head Honcho inna Poncho, but I shall try to refrain] turns to Casual-slouchy-stance-cloaked-figure. “I think it’s time to reveal the Second Order, don’t you?”

The second figure shrugs, like it’s no big deal to them, and pulls out a datapad to punch in some things. “Signal sent.”

And across the battlefield, Resistance fighters start to turn. A bunch of them are using stun blasts, but in the air there’s no such mercies. I keep playing with the notion that Holdo’s ship just up and leaves the system (and let’s face it, with the potential for an Ackbar who’s swapped sides cackling “It’s a trap!” like “and you fools have fallen into it!” appeals, then sure, him too.) Paige, wherever she is, is also one of the turncoats. And down in that messy cluster with Finn and Rey, Kylo Ren pauses, then turns and strikes down several of the Resistance fighters he just saved.

At this point, people decide it is LEAVING TIME. Rey and Finn are presumably Most Distraught, there’s some kind of retreating fight between them and Ren-and-Phasma-and-her-troopers. 

It’s not quite a rout. Not quite. There’s a lot of blood spilt on the ships they retreat onto, though. People just turned, for no reason anyone could figure. (Later, someone analyzes comm traffic, and finds another encrypted signal they can’t interpret.)

Our Heroes are Not Happy, for all that ok, they achieved some pretty significant mission goals. By the time they get back to base, everyone’s caught up with everyone else. Losses - in both senses - were significant. Finn took a nasty blow to the back, but given time he should be ok. Whether that means back to functioning as before, or he now needs some kind of mobility device AND THAT IS NOT SOME HUGE TRAGEDY, I leave up to the viewer. (In the latter case, damn well ought to later on show a number of Resistance members in similar circumstances, because representation and let’s face it, should be happening ANYWAYS regardless.)

They all get back to base to find that during the time they were away, a number of folks did the turncoat thing, but thankfully nothing too important blew up. Also, Luke finally got back from his mission. He greets the crew, and introduces them to what he went to fetch: a new medic named Kix, who had been working with some space pirates. (LET DANIEL LOGAN PLAY CLONES, DAMMIT.) They don’t know why things went strange, but they might have a few ideas.

General notes because I’ve reached the end of my patience with this plunnie, in no particular order:

I cannot emphasize enough that Kylo Ren is not, and NEVER is, the main villain here. He’s on par at MOST with Phasma, as we saw her in canon Episode 7 and 8. Quite possibly less.

It may or may not be relevant, but Rose and Paige were never sent out with the primary mission to babysit him (the man is THIRTY, for the love of GODS). He was honestly just a useful cover for them to travel around a lot, make contacts, and courier stuff. (He thought they kept making deals on the side, whatevs, not his problem.)

The person in charge of the First Order was once a Jedi (probably a padawan?) who escaped the purge, gave in to the dark side, and decided fuck the Empire and the Emperor, and what they did to us - AND fuck the Republic, too! (And that’s why they have the whole “burn down the past” attitude.)

There’s technically three “Orders”: the First order is the public face, the stormtroopers and the battleships. The Second Order is the hidden agents, some actually turned, but many with control chips like what was used on the clones. The Third Order is a group of Dark Force users, building their bullshit upon old sith books and those Jedi books they’ve decided to repurpose (and that way you can tie in the books of ancient Jedi Bullshit that were almost burned in canon). 

Hux is in charge of First Order, Phasma the Third, DJ in charge of Second - he’s the reason there keep being encrypted stuff the Resistance can’t read. They go looking for someone who can slice into this stuff, and naturally this sketchy as hell guy has a reputation for being able to crack these things. No one really quite twigs to him being the likely culprit as to creating them. Or at least, that opinion gets drowned out somehow. 

Finn was being groomed to be part of the Third Order. He did not realize this.

Kix helps suss out the chips and ways to try to deal with them.

Without much useful detail, my brain supplied Episode 8: The Fall of the Republic; and Episode 9: The Resilience of Hope. Make of that what you will?

I think this would mean 8 would be about the chips, while across the galaxy assorted sleeper agents would be taking out relevant political targets, and causing general unrest to take down the Republic. It should be about the small victories, not the large ones - this person rescued here, that life skill learned over there - even as the First Order keeps making successful powergrabs. 

9 would be more about finding roots. Lando - who’s been spying within the Order, finally surfaces with intel (what intel is a very good question I do not have an answer to). I get the feeling Kylo would die somewhere in here - if so, it absolutely should not be the pivot point of either the battle OR the war, no more than Paige’s death was in canon. (Meanwhile, it’d be nice if Paige could be saved.)

No, the person behind everything is not connected to “something greater,” they remain a random padawan from the old Jedi who managed to survive.

I think that’s all I’ve got, tagging @dragonhoardsbookz for their interest, and many thanks to @dharmaavocado for egging me on and being a kind voice of reason. <3

[jos-corner-of-the-world]

Overwatch -- {Final}

{1} – {2} – {3} – {4} – {5} – {6} – {7} – {8} – {9}  – {10} – {11} – {12} – {13} – {14} – {15} – {16} – {17} – {18}

You woke up the next morning, excited for the day ahead of you.  You always got excited for events, but even more so for this one because it was a charity event.  You were planning on meeting the guys there, where they’d promised to introduce you to the rest of the respective groups.  Wonho had pouted, you had cheered.

You put a little bit more effort into your appearance today, but still wore skinny jeans and a hoodie.  Just added a little makeup and had your hair up in a well done ponytail instead of a mass on top of your head like you normally did.

You drove to the venue a little early, knowing parking would be a mess.  There were some celebrity appearances on top of the teams.  All were there to promote different charities people could donate to throughout the tournament as well.

You parked and went inside, deciding to do a little mingling and wait for the rest of your professional team who would be there to support you.

You'd run into some of the commentators that had done the event your team had just won recently.  They made sure to let you know they would be interviewing you are some point with the rest of your team.

Yeah, that's gonna go over well in front of all these famous people you thought to yourself.

You heard someone call your name and you turned to see Wonho there with the rest of Monsta X trailing behind him.

“Hey guys. Glad you could make it” you told them when they were within earshot.

“Glad you took dipshit here back” Hyungwon said.

“Well that's rude” you heard Wonho mutter.

“Ah, of course. Can't have him touring all over the world with a bunch of hot girls at his disposal and him being a free man” you joked.

“I've never been like that. And I'd never cheat on you” Wonho defended vehemently.

“Dude. I know. It was a joke.”

“Sorry, just feeling tense today.” He said.

“Excuse us for a minute guys.” You said as you pulled Wonho by the hand into a semi empty hallway.

“What's going on?” You asked.

“Nerves for the day I guess. I slept like shit last night.”

“Are you sure that's it?” You asked, wanting him to feel comfortable talking to you.

“Mhm, that's it. Promise I would tell you if it were more” he said. He surprised you by pulling you into a hug.

“Ooooh! PDA!” You heard someone yell from beside you. Wonho backed away slowly and glared daggers at the sound of the voice.

You turned to see Taehyung with a big smile on his face surrounded by the rest of BTS.

“If you think that's bad, you should have seen what I walked in on last night” Jungkook muttered.

“Okay wait a minute. You're making it sound way more dirty than it actually was!” You defended.

“Ugh, it looked pretty bad from where I was standing” Jungkook said.

“Listen here you little shit. You better clarify what you're talking about or that big ass millennium falcon I had to carry down my stairs and into my trunk is going right back to my house!”

“Wonho just had her pinned to the couch and was tickling her, that's all. It wasn't that bad” he said quickly.

You and Wonho laughed at him while the rest of the guys seemed to cock and eyebrow at the two of you.

“Okay. This is a really shitty first impression. I'm Y/n.” You said introducing yourself because no one was doing it for you.

You were the introduced to all the guys. When it came time to shake Yoongi’s hand, you saw Jungkook shaking his head frantically at him.

“Jesus Kook stop. I'm not gonna try to steal Wonho’s girl and she's not interested in me at all.” Yoongi said, shaking your hand anyway.

You couldn't help but laugh. Jungkook really had tried helping Wonho keep Yoongi away from you.

“I'm gonna get you back later” you warned Jungkook and Wonho.

“Can't you just do it now?” Wonho whined.

“Nope I'm gonna get you when you least expect it.”

“This sucks” Jungkook whined, and Wonho agreed.

“Dude you got your hands full with this one” Namjoon said to Wonho.

“It's pretty awesome actually” Yoongi agreed

“And that's our cue to go find Mark so our team is complete” Wonho said, dragging you away.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen. The last team we’re going to introduce consists of four members of popular musical groups, and one professional overwatch player.  Help me welcome to the stage Beauty and the Beasts.”

You laughed loudly at the confused looks on the guys faces.

“First to introduce we have Y/n who is a professional Overwatch player.  Her and her team just won a tournament in this building recently. How does it feel to be here right now?” the commentator asked.

“It feels great. But I’d like to point out real quick that I submitted our team name without the guys’ knowledge or consent, so if they seem salty, that would be why.  But it does feel good to be here competing again so soon, and especially for charity.” you said.

“At your tournament, you challenged Wonho to a one versus one, can I assume that happened.” he asked, looking past you at Wonho.

“It did. He reached out to me that week and we had a one versus one that we streamed for all of his fans to watch.”

“Who won?”

“Who do you think?” Wonho joked lightly.

“So how did the team come together?” the commentator asked.

“Well Wonho reached out to me about it a while ago.  Then it happened to come up in conversation one night while I was speaking to Taehyung.  Him and Jungkook immediately offered to be on the team.  We didn’t even know Y/n would be part of the team until we showed up for practice one night and there she was.” Mark said.

“What charity have you guys decided to donate your winnings to if you’re victorious?”

“We’re planning on donating to different orphanages throughout the country.” Jungkook said.

“But we’re also planning on matching the donation between the five of us weather we win or lose.” Taehyung said.

“That’s awesome, and quite generous of you guys.” the commentator said, amazed at the news.

“Not really generous.  We’re helping fuel the lives of our future generations.  It’s the least we could do.” you said.

“Wise words from a wise young lady! Ladies and gentlemen let’s hear it for Beauty and her Beasts!”

Again, you laughed while the guys all groaned.

Things were much more intense than you’d expected them to be.  There were many people who were good at Overwatch playing in the tournament.  You guys had barely made it through round two, but now were set to go against another team in the finals.

“Are you nervous?” one of your teammates asked you.

“Nope. It’s all for a good cause. Win or lose, the orphanages will still be getting donations.”

You watched on the big screen as they were interviewing different celebrities and heads of charities throughout game play and the breaks.

Just before you guys were heading up on stage, you saw Kim Woo Bin’s face appear on the monitor.

“Dude! Look!” you said, grabbing Wonho’s hand, pointing to the monitor.

“Great.” Wonho groaned, but laughed at your excitement.

“Do you think I could meet him today?” you asked.  If it made Wonho uncomfortable, you wouldn’t do it, but you really loved his dramas; and his girlfriend.

“Probably. We can wander around after it’s over.” Wonho said.

“You’re literally the best boyfriend ever!” you said.

As you sat behind the computers before the finals, you communicated with the guys to just have fun.

“Wonho, why don’t you play McCree” you suggested.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yep. You’re good with him now, and a little excitement is what we need right now.  I’ll stick to Mercy so the rest of you can do whatever you want.”

The camera panned in front of your computers and you and Wonho had thrown up peace signs, smiling widely.

“You guys ready to do this?” you said.

“Yeah!” they all yelled.  You could only smile at their excitement.

It came down to the last minute.  You were tied and needed to swing it your way to win this round, winning the tournament.

“Mark watch your left!” you said, but noticed that Wonho’s health was going down.  “Wonho, fall back, I’m on my way to you. Once I'm done healing you I need you and Mark to flank so Kook and Tae can get the payload across. We're so close we just need to finish it out.”

The last 30 seconds were even more intense than the grand finals at your professional tournament. But with almost no time left, Jungkook was able to deliver the payload safely, winning the finals.

The five of you jumped up in surprise, coming together in a group hug.

You came out from the glass cases they have the computers in and shook hands with the other team. You were surprised to see the captain of Lunatic Hai there, you'd missed his introduction.

“Damn. It seems to not matter which team you're leading, you do it very well” he complimented.

“Thank you. You guys put up one hell of a fight.”

“See ya next tournament?” He asked.

“Absolutely.”

You guys had accepted the trophies for the win, and distributed checks from the sponsors, plus your own personal checks, to ten different charities that helped keep orphanages afloat.

The feeling of winning was great. But the feeling of giving back, helping kids live their best lives, that was even better.

“Now's your chance.” Wonho said to you after you'd gotten off stage.

“What?” You turned to see him pointing towards the crowd. Woo Bin was standing off to the side, a radiant Minah next to him.

“Shit, should I?” You asked.

“You may never get the chance again.”

He had a point.

You grabbed his hand and drug him along with you, hoping it would be less nerve wracking.

“Excuse me” you said softly as you got up to them. You'd waited until they finished the conversation they were having with someone else before you spoke.

“Oh hello! Congratulations on your win. You're a very good player” Minah said.

“Holy shit. Um thank you.” You mumbled.

Everyone around you laughed.

“I’m Wonho and this is Y/n. She really wanted a chance to meet you guys today. Hope we're not interrupting anything.” Wonho said when he realized you were at a loss for words.

“Not at all. I don't know anything about this game in particular but you guys were fun to watch. But they had to stop listening to comms for a while, you swear a lot” Woo Bin laughed.

“I do. It's a bad habit I've had from years of professional gaming.  I just want to say in case I never get the chance again, you guys are amazing. I love your work in every drama I've seen you in. You're series Oh My Venus I've seen at least 8 times.” You told Minah. She smiled kindly and thanked you.

“And between your dramas and the movie Twenty I've seen everything just as much.” You told Woo Bin.

“She also thinks you're hot” Wonho said suddenly.

“Dude. You're the worst boyfriend ever, shut up” you whined to Wonho.

Luckily for you both Minah and Woo Bin laughed.

“Boyfriend huh? That news seems to not have hit the tabloids yet.” Minah laughed.

“It hasn't. And lucky for him because know no one will know where he got the fat lip I'm gonna give him later.” you joked. You couldn't believe he sold you out like that.

“I could give you some advice on how to handle savage boyfriends” Minah told you.

“Minah, honey, I think she's doing just fine on her own. If you give her any of your advice, the poor man might run for the hills.”

“Whoa, you're a savage too? Was not expecting that"

“Only every time he opens his mouth. For example there was one time we were at dinner with my parents--” Minah starts but was cut off.

“Look at the time babe we gotta go” Woo Bin said suddenly.

“No we don't. You just don't want me to tell the story”

“You're right. Save it for another time.”

“Oh! Now I have something to look forward to in the future!” You said excited.

Both men just groaned, while you and Minah laughed at their expense.

“Today was such a great day.” You said, walking with Wonho to your car.

You were going to spend as much time together for the next few days because after that preparations started for his world tour and you know he'll be busy and exhausted.

“It was. It was fun to do something I love, other than singing, in front of an audience. It's intense but it felt really good to win. You were such a badass.” He said, throwing an arm around you.

“And to think, Overwatch is what brought us in this crazy ride we're on today.” You said.

“Cause you're a fangirl” he joked.

“Says the boy who didn't leave his room at all during my tournament.” You side eyed him.

“I'm gonna kill Changkyun” he grumbled.

“Aw, leave the poor boy alone. It was Hyungwon who ratted you out.”

“Where have you guys been? I've been waiting here forever.” You heard Jungkook whine as you approached your car.

“Talking to Kim Woo Bin and Shin Minah” you said answered as if it were no big deal.

“Really?! Is he awesome?” Jungkook asked.

“Not nearly as awesome as Minah, that's for damn sure. She's a savage and a half. I love her even more now.”

“What are you doing here?” Wonho asked, changing the subject.

“Dude, I'm here for my millennium falcon.”

“Of course you are” you laughed as you opened your trunk.

Jungkook went to grab it as soon as your trunk was open, but stopped and looked at Wonho.

“Know what I just realized?” he asked.

“You’re a grown man excited to get a Millenium Falcon toy?” you asked.

“Shut up.” he said, looking back over at Wonho.

“I realized that your girlfriend met both Kim Woo Bin and Yoongi today.  Yet, she’s still here with you.”

Wonho looked at you, soft smile on his face.

“You know what, you’re right.” he agreed.

“That’s cause you’re stuck with me. You made the choice to be with me, you better be ready for the best, yet most irritating, time of your life.”

“Bring it on” Wonho challenged, kissing you lightly.

“Dude! I’m still here!”

Fin

{Epilogue}

[ghosthierophant]

2x01 - 2x03

it’s time

i missed my children

it’s even more tragic that samwise is bob

ALL YOU FUCKS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO THE TRASH FUCKING PUNKASS SHOULD BE A GODDAMN SHAMED OF YOURSELVES

2x01: MADMAX

hmmm... metropolitan area

is this a DND session or real?

?!?!?!? MORE POWER?

SHE HAS THE NOSEBLEED TOO

008

I MISSED THIS THEME

MY MOTHER RIGHT NXT TO ME IS FUCKING SPOILING THINGS WHICH IS FUCKING ANNOYING LET ME UNCOVER SHIT FOR MYSELF

the aesthetics

SON OF A BITCH COUNT

[ moans ] - my son

I’LL CALL MIKE

everyone’s older

OH JEEZ

bye mike

A R C A D E

i love best mom

OVERPRICED BULLSHIT SON OF A BITCH PIECE OF SHIT

~ princess daphne ~

OH HEY IT’S GENDER MAN

get him the date

PROSTITUTING MY SISTER 

WASTOID

i’m will zoning out to The Danger / UPside Down

aw jeez

OH WOW THIS SONG

OINGO BOINGO!!!!!!!11

~ get away from me ~

RUSSIAN SPIES

... eleven 

TALKIN IN YOUR SLEEP

... we both won

all that adult stuff 

oh no

OH NO

HERE COMES THE TUMBLR DISASTER HURRICANE

THROW IT IN THE TRASH

NOPE DON’T CHECK OUT THAT ASS

DON’T DO IT

... children are cruel dicks to my child

hi, brain

hi, california maxine / max

MADMAX / all look

SHE’S SEWING IT AWW

bob deserved... : /  i hate my prior knowledge

SAMWISE : (

creepy creepy

SHEET FACED...

i’m jonathan getting home at 8 listening to the talking heads reading a book

GIRLS PLAY IGAJIGjafk

/ skateboards / awesome -  SHIT I’VE LOST THE TARGET

ACT COOL

“well, shit”

... ugh will’s life is hell

BEST MOM 

hey buddy .... hello creepy building place

EHGEHGHEGHEHGE BIG SYRINGE , EGH OLIVIA ELECTRODES

“sir will” - i’m the doctor

WHOM ARE THE FUCKING PEOPLE BEHIND THE TV

“to kill” - “not me - everyone else”

... GET WORSE

trust me.... BUT WHOM ARE THE TV PEOPLE

BOB THE BRAIN lol

i’m skeptical at the doctor too my dude

OH LOOK, MASSIVE DYNAMIC BULLSHIT

OH GREAT THEY’RE  BACK AT IT AGAIN

BAKC ON THEIR BULLSHIT

... great

“jack shit”

pearls 

/ FINGER

SHE’S MY CRUSH - dustin

2 WHAT

WAY TO O MUCH EMOTIONAL VALUE

ATHAIRJAIRIR THE ATARI

... mike’s parents for worst parents

DING DONG : ( I LOVE KFC

... barb’s parents ; (

... don’t slander hawkins here ... he did his fucking best

this man won’t do ass

THIS MAN IS SWINDLING YOU LMAO

/ cronch

i’m nance in the bathroom

I’M NANCE IN THE BATHROOM HYPERVENTILATING CRYING

DON’T GIVE UP THE FUCKING MILLENNIUM FALCON

/ goes into the eleven shed

day 352 : (

: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

MIKE / DISTORTED VOICE

................... ugh dustin

[ PURRS ]

Brontosaurus 

PUT THE FUTURE DOWN

A Variety

zombie boy 

... “like what?” : /  he’s just concerned, but i know... you don’t wanna break

he loves you... but... yeah

I’M A FREAK

IS THAT WHY YOU DO’NT HAVE ANY FRIENDS

SAVAGE

... best friends with Zombie Boy 

I LOVE KENNY ROGERS - see

Mr. Mom - the kids are silent

WE’RE ALL ON EDGE

THE PHONE WILL RING ON & OFF

... all those fucking dishes up there

[ MACHINE BEEPING ] [ ALARMS BLARING ]

... late night pees in this town gotta be the worst

AW JEEZ WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL

god he rly does look like winona what great casting on the regular

There HIm Is

DOOR UNLOCKS ... to

NO SIGNAL

THERE SHE IS

THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS

... this must be so hard keeping her secret / safe

... this must be so gotdamn hard

& it’s shitty, but it IS for the best... bc god they’ll find her; they’ll try to fucking find her

2x02: TRICK OR TREAT, FREAK

GOODBYE, MIKE

yelling

THERE SHE IS SURVIVING 

MY DAUGHTER IN HER DRESS, HER SHAVED HEAD

mike : (  THE SCREAMING AGH

: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

NOW YOU’RE THINKING WITH PORTALS

the lighting with the red is so gorgeous omg i hope y’all got gifs of that

... go for it

... can’t go there

SHE CAN’T CONTACT YOU WITHOUT US KNOWING

... top secret

HIM SEES

: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

THIS MUSIC THO

: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

OH JESUS - GHOST

HALLOWEEN  - SURRRE IS

trick or treating lol

no risks - they’re stupid & we’re not stupid

... god i know, but... this IS for the best

GET FAT

halfway happy

PROMISE

... best dad : )

HE UP

WHERE’S WILL ... oh here it comes - he peed

THE BEST COSTUMES EVER

... oh jeez the Drawings are great but also Worrying

GHOSTBUSTERS

erica TOO SAVAGE WITH THE FACTS

ALL SINGING GHOSTBUSTERS

WE’RE ALL VENKMAN

YOU’RE NOT BLACK LOL

tfw no one else is wearing costumes

A CONSPIRACY

ENGAGE / AFTER CLASS YPU

yup exact match

[ sighs ] ... in time

... old times, eh?

HEY, ASSHOLES

... this ship isn’t sailing is it

CREEPY SPOOKY MUSIC

... storm  / stress-ball

... barb vision

EVERYONE FORGOT , NO ONE CARES

SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES LOOKIING FOR THEM

t h e y

just pretend like we’re stupid teenagers

CLEARS THROAT

VOLIA

NO? OKAY BUT UM

p r e s u m p t u o u s

LUCAS 

IS IT BAD

SON OF A BITCH LUCAS

SON OF A BITCH LUCAS IS IT BAD

TERMINATOR 

GO BACK TO THE TERMINATOR 

me? - impetuous 

ALL MY CHILDREN ERICA 

hair growth for how long

TWIG SNAP

... i don’t trust like this

YEAH TAKE THE JACKET & SHIT

all the pumpkins goin to shit 

BECAUSE YOU’RE OLD

e v e r y o n e

ALL THE CROPS, DEAD

WE’RE ALL GUNNA STARVE

... here’s the asshole

PLEASE DRIVE IN A SAFE MANNER 

... why is this happening

... when can he die

WHAT

NO

WHAT

NO

WHAT 

NO

WHAT IN THE FUCK

Y’ALL SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM 

ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE

... the goop

the same goop

ready, bud

WE ALL GOT ISSUES

d e a l  - don’t blow it

... well... hope this doesn’t blow ass

.................. ew it’s the fucking gross ass 

get off my TV screen pls get off my TV screen

i’m literally triggered every time he’s on my screen

... DON’T GO TO THE PARTY

PLS GOD DO’NT GO TO THE PARTY

PLS GOD DON’T GO TO THE FUCKING PARTY

JON DO’N’T PLS GOD

... : (

“it could be”

sing it, dolly

DOORBELL RINGS

... exterminators 

mad max

i’m mike

IT’S PAST 5:15 : /

... OMG THE CANDY

LATE

WHY IS LIFE HARD FOR MY CHILD

AWSHITAWSHITAWSHITAWSHIT

... take it easy

GIRLS ON FILM

... jon turn back while you still fucking can

PLEASE GOD TURN BACK

samantha

oh jeez party foul

: /  nance

nance’s decision right now... is valid

“this is bullshit” - ... yeah

“like we’re in love”

it looks like blood it can totally work

“i’m stuck” - yay will & mike friendship yes thanks thank you yes

he’s phasing in & out like olivia

HUGE BIG BOY

... eleven would

WE’RE OUT OF CONTROL OT3

we staggering home

we LATE AS ALL HELL

... um

“el” / eating all this candy by myself getting fat

COULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR SOMETHING 

... static as white noise

SHE HEARS MIKE : ((((((((((((((((((((

253

SHE HEARS YOU : ((((((((((((((((

MIKE - HIM FELT YOU

THIS IS POLIVIA KID LONG-DISTANCE LOVE

: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

HOLY SH- GHOSTBUSTERS

2x03: THE POLLYWOG

CONSTIPATED

temporary eviction

IT’S A BABY THING UM

/ FEEDS THE CANCER

... can you tame them

... i don’t think so... oh no

IT HIM YOU CAN TRUST HIM

/ cold shoulder

TRIPLE DECKER EGGO

OH JEEZ IT’S AMAZING

8,000!

“he says he needs me”

HE KNOWS YOU MISS

IT’S DANGEROUS

GAGH

THE PAIN

“friends don’t lie”

“soon - day 21″

day 205

soon: 326

WHEN IS SOON

“i don’t know”

: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

/ staying over the yikes

.... bobmosomething

PUBLIC KNAWLEDGE

CURIOSITY VOYAGE 

THESE BOOKS ARE MY PADDLES

“shitting me”

/ TAKES THEM - I NEED MY PADDLES - MY ACTUAL SON

... bob is sweet to him tho.... MR FRODO OR MR. BALDO

... goddamnt samwise

“i stood my ground”

“never saw him again”

EASY-PEASY, LEMON-SQUEEZY

... funeral

COMPLETE CHANGE

“no longer gage”

nice sweater, lunch

“yes, my lord”

“focusing, focusing”

DIPSHITS

... oh god ... el don’t do it don’t

“home”

MUSIC IS HAPPENING

OMG HE’S DANCING YES YES YES THIS IS PRECIOUS

precautions

EL DON’T

EL DON’T DON’T

EL DON’T DON’T DON’T

GODDAMNIT EL... DON’T BE STUPID

... put your shirt back on, billy

... my dude don’t be a jerk

“other boyfriend” ............................... ugh

“just bullshit too”

tfw no love so “i think that you’re bullshit”

mike & the dude

MOVING INSIDE OF IT

yep will yep will yep will yep will yewp will yep will yep will

... will : /

HE RLY IS SO SWEET - I LIKE YOU SO MUCH TOO

... older kids picking on will

I WILL KILL THEM TOO

............................. back to here

it’s a joke - spreading

EGGHEAD FRIENDS

THAT IS THE DEAL

CONVINCE ME

tfw u meant it tho

tfw it’s not fine

tfw weight

your mom’s boyfriend

... el

EL WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING

SHIT’S GOIN DOWN MUSIC

the what tube to the what now

COOL BYE

... there them are

EW WTF IS THAT THE THING IS THAT THE THING IS THAT THE THING

THE HAPPENING 

RIGHT NOW

“she’s not my sister” ...............ok

TRUE SIGHT

MAYBE HE SHOULD BE DEAD

HE’S FROM THE UPSIDE DOWN

SOMEONE’S FROM THE DEATH STAR DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE BAD

... he trusts you?

............................ nah dustin this is dumb

HIM BIG NOW

OH NO OH JEEZ

WTF DUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 DUSTIN NO!!!!!!!!!!1

hurt him

SOMETHING ABOUT BARB

the listening

RUSSIAN GIRL SHE’S OUT

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT THEY’RE GUNNA FOLLOW HIM NOW GOD FUCKING DAMNIT GOD DAMNIT GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

... christ el

AAAAAAAAAAGH THE SEARCH

/ KICKS IT OPEN

MY DOG IS BARKING LMAO WHERE’S DART

... go home

CORRECT

“el is our mage”

SHE WAS A MAGE

“zoomer” ... mind-blowing

OH SHIT EL - same tho

RUN FOR HER

kill it... will

shithsithishtihsihishihishit

OH GOD

WILL

JAHGIJAIGHIJGAHFGHGJEL

SHISHTHSIHTHSITHIHSIHISHITHIT

...........................................